Identity and Grace

Pentecost  year B Sermon 

Who are you? How might you answer that question?
What is your basic identity? And how does that affect your faith …and your life…
as a follower of Jesus Christ?

As I said last week, there’s a sense in which…we must answer these questions...if we’re to continue
to grow in faith. So for the next few weeks…in a five part preaching series…called ‘Who are we’?  
I’m hoping every one of you…will be able to answer these questions… for yourself.

Last week in part one…we discovered how our own life story can distort our understanding 
of God’s story…
and God’s love for us. Like when we grow up…
believing our lovability depends on meeting our parent’s expectations. We saw that conditional love…
or love with strings attached…can disable our ability to accept God’s… unconditional love.

And last week hopefully…we became open…to the truth that God loves us…w
hether anyone else does. That God loves us whether we love ourselves…
And we discovered how hard
it is to carry the good news to others…
when we don’t believe it ourselves?

Today in the second part of the series…I want you to grasp
just how… this good news of God’s grace…
shapes our identity…as new creations in Christ.
And we’ll ask ourselves the question…

slide words
Are we living and serving…our families, our church and our community… 
out of emotional bondage… or out of love?
And what is the relationship between our identity and God’s grace?

It’s a critical question isn’t it…because fundamental to the Christian faith… is the good news that all humanity
are loved unconditionally by God… and that’s why God sent Jesus into the world…at great cost…
to deliver the message in the flesh.

And that message is what Paul refers to as
the gospel of grace… in our reading today.

This then gives us some clues…as to our true identity
as new creations in the name of Jesus Christ. [pause]

Blank slide

Unfortunately many of us grow up…answering the identity question…who are we… 
in relation to our family name…
or our role… or our title…

We might hear it said…that so and so is a Kane…or so and so is a Lovelock…
or so and so is a builder or engineer…
or a mother…or a minister…and this defines their identity for us… 
nd maybe even for them. And these identities
can come with some scripting
or parts we’re taught to play …like actors on the stage.

When this happens…the unconditional love of God
revealed in Jesus…isn’t the basis of our identity.
Somehow at a deeply unconscious level… we ‘ve come to believe that our acceptance and lovability…
depends on how well we act out our family role…so we work hard to do the best we can…
so people will approve of us and love us…

Another way to say this… is… we do what we do…to get love…
instead of loving and living out of the freedom that comes…
from embracing our ‘already lovable’ identity in Christ…

we serve and strive and live…in emotional bondage
in order to get love…in order to earn love.

But when we embrace the good news of God’s grace…
when we accept the truth that we’re loved already…
then we do what we do…because we’re loved and accepted.

We’re free to love and serve others…out of a place of wholeness…
we no longer expect the love of other people
to fill us up…[pause]

Let me give you an example from my own life…last week you heard how I grew up…
believing my mother’s love was conditional on how well I performed…how lovely I looked …
how perfect I was...without my mother meaning to
of course…and this left a great big empty place in my being …which I unceasingly longed to fill up…
with love…

So I went looking high and low for someone…some person …
whose love would fill up that empty space…you know the one just below your rib cage…
the one that aches
when you’re rejected or judged or fearful.

Fortunately in my early forties… some Christian friends helped me discover an amazing truth…that only God’s love can truly fill us up …only God’s love
can make us feel whole.

So I began to pray every day…for God to fill me with God’s holy love. 
And I began to surrender my will completely 
to God’s will…and as I grew in the knowledge of God’s grace …
and healed with the experience of being filled up by God’s love…
all my relationships were transformed…

Over time…I no longer expected the love and acceptance of others…to fill me up… 
instead I grew in my ability to love others…out of a place of wholeness. 
You might say I became a dispenser of grace…

One of our study groups discovered this recently in their series on Yancey’s book 
What’s so Amazing about Grace. And I’m going to get them to tell us about it. 
Barbara, Jen and Russell could you come up here and tell us about this.

They share

When our identity is rooted in Christ…we come to understand we’re accepted…
not because of what we’ve done…but because of what Christ has done. 
We know we’re loved and accepted by God…
because of the revelation of Christ. And this is
the gospel of grace. Which we in faith…choose to believe.

You could say we are saved from slavery and emotional bondage by Jesus’ gospel of grace. 
And that’s why I would say in Christ… is the salvation of the world.

And spreading the Gospel of grace means helping others
get the true order of things…helping them see
that grace comes before performance…Helping them see
when our identity is rooted in God and God’s family
our true identity exists before anything we do.

Helping them see that every human being is in on this…
and that every circumstance that prevents people from their true identity… 
or deprives them from wholeness…
is contrary to God’s will.

When our identity is rooted in our biological family name or how well we perform a role…
then we may compensate for this very fragile identity…
our whole lives…in emotional bondage…

in slavery… to the pursuit of love…

Last week we talked about conditional messages of love
but it’s also important to understand the entirely negative messages of love… 
we can grow up with. Negative messages of love…can be worse and more damaging
than conditional messages of love.

The first and most traumatic form is

Slide words reveal

1. overt rejection – this happens when as children we’re given a clear indication…
we’re unwanted and unloved.

2. covert rejection – this may be unintended by our parents
but comes across to us as subtle form of rejection nevertheless

3. over-protection – this feels like smothering…or being loved to death

Overt rejection can lead to an insatiable craving for love, the need for constant reassurance, encouragement 

and nurture in order to feel good.

Covert rejection – can lead to jealousy and possessiveness …demanding absolute security. 
The message to others is ‘give me all your time and energy… or I will feel unloved.’

Over-protection – can lead to a very un-gospel like pre-occupation with everyone’s love for me… 

rather than my love for everyone. Sometimes we see this in how people assess 
the kind of welcome they get in a new church family or in a new town.

Most of these negative experiences of love…are expressed in adulthood by doing, behaving and performing…

The principle behind this is a simple mathematical one…
we compensate for deficits in our identity by performing. [pause]

So how does an understanding of the good news of God’s grace… 
help us avoid such a debilitating life style?

Well, first it’s crucial to our spiritual, emotional and probably even our physical health…
to learn the actual chronology of grace…in relation to performance and acceptance. 
In other words…to learn what comes first and what comes second. 
f we don’t learn this… then it’s likely we’ll remain in emotional bondage all our lives.

We heard the chronology of grace operating in our reading today…in the face of harsh criticism…and rejection of his identity as an apostle…Paul remains strong and undeterred… because he tells us…
his identity is rooted in God’s grace. He explains…

Slide words

For I am the least of the apostles and don’t even deserve to be called an apostle…
because I persecuted the church of God.
But by the grace of God I am what I am…and his grace to me wasn’t without effect. 
No, I worked harder than all of them —yet not I…but the grace of God that was with me.

Blank slide

In fact Paul argues in all his letters… that his identity is neither rooted in his Jewish family nor his Roman citizenship
but in the grace of God revealed to him by the risen Christ.

When the grace of God infuses our lives…then we can say …you can say…‘I am who I am’
accepted and loved by the grace of God.

And as we’ve heard…
this doesn’t mean we rest in complacency
with no motivation to serve our families our church or in the world…Not at all…faith in God’s grace becomes the motivation for serving and loving.

And it doesn’t mean we no longer need to grow or change …but our response to grace…
is our motivation to grow and to change.

A wonderful Christian Chinese woman named Jenifer Yep wrote a book called 
How to follow Jesus without dishonouring your parents. In it she says…
‘a performance spirituality it can cause us to believe that our passion and commitment 
reflect the quality of our relationship with God…our beliefs about grace may be orthodox, 
but we haven’t appropriated the trutht hat we are saved by grace alone.

Our lifestyles demonstrate that we really believe the more we do the more we will be loved. 
And when we can’t do more we can’t be loved. And so we do more…and more… 
and slowly we become trapped in a never-ending treadmill of obligations, requirements and meetings.

We find God and God’s work exhausting. [When this happens ] We developed a faith from which the cross of Christ is missing.’[i]

Remember how in the politically incorrect guide to being in church… we learned how Jesus way of worship was a whole of life activity? …that all proper service in Christian community is worship…a gift…given in appreciation to God for the gift of grace?

So if you clamour week after week for a list of instructions on what to do, then I have failed you…
because the intent of the Gospels…isn’t to tell people what to do,
but to remind us who we are…to reveal our true identity… rooted in Christ.

And my prayer is that from now on…
everything you do will flow from who you are. From the choice you make to root your identity in Christ.
Your decision will make a huge difference to your emotional spiritual and physical wellbeing…to your shalom and the shalom of your family and our church and our community.

For if you choose to be rooted in the grace of God

then you will respond out of love… not out of duty or in order to get love…

You will respond not from emptiness…but from a place of wholeness.

---

[i] Yep, J. et al. Following Jesus without dishonouring your parents. IVP, 1998, 138-139.

And again my gratitude to Rod Wilson for the outline of this series.

Our story and God’s story

Easter 7 year B Sermon 

Who are you? How would you answer that question?
What is your basic identity? And how does that affect your faith…and your life… 

as a follower of Jesus Christ?

There’s a sense in which we must answer these questions
if we’re to continue to grow in faith. So for the next few weeks 

in a five part preaching series…called ‘Who are we’?  I’m hoping every one of you…
will be able to answer those questions for yourself.

Today in part one we’ll try to see how our own life story…

impacts on our understanding of God’s story and God’s love for us. 

You could say we’re looking at the interface
between biography and theology.

And the following four weeks… we’ll try to grasp…
how grace… shapes our identity. And we’ll get a healthier view of our role in the mission of God…in the story of the sower and the seed. Then we’ll see how our family’s story…
forms our approach to relationships in Christian community. And finally we’ll ask…

what balance we can expect …between strength and weakness…

as we continue to grow in faith.

Cloud slide

So to begin…Our story and God’s story…First I want you imagine a long corridor…

stretching into the distance…
and on either side… are comfortable  warm …rooms…

each one furnished… with treasures and pictures…
from homes left behind in the final move to the dependency of old age.…

As you walk down the corridor… you lean into each door
to say hello to the person who lives there…

you speak words of comfort…you inquire about their health…their family.

You know their stories…all of them…you’ve been their chaplain and their friend… 

since they came to this place. Your job is to… speak the name of God to them…
pray with them…and encourage them. [pause]

Some of the residents are napping of course…and you don’t want to disturb them…

others… look up from their knitting or the telly and smile in recognition and affection. 

Some have that look of contentment on their face…that comes from knowing they’re loved…other have… a kind of sad… resignation…

As this is a Christian aged-care facility…almost every resident grew up going to Sunday School…attending church with their family…
well it’s what you did in those days…isn’t it.

And they have no hesitation calling themselves Christians.

But what saddens you… is that so many you care for …
have made the long journey of life… into their nineties
and still aren’t sure…God loves them.

And you’re worried for them…at their age and stage…
they have so little time… to find out the truth and enjoy it. 

Your prayer is before they die… they might open themselves… 

to God’s unconditional love for them.

What went wrong…where did they miss the message…
what got in the way…what prevented them
from embracing the fullness of God’s love?

This is a true story…told me by a friend whose writing a book about faith in old age…

an Anglican priest in Taranaki.
But her story isn’t unique. It’s a spiritual tragedy repeated over and over again… 

from Bluff to Kaitaia. [pause]

Title slide

Now wouldn’t you say it’s fundamental to the Christian faith… 

that we’re unconditionally loved by God…and wouldn’t you say in a nut shell…

that is our true identity…yours and mine…loved by God… just as we are…

Yet as Christians… we can grow up...singing Jesus loves me…

and never own it for ourselves at a deep emotional level

From birth to old age… it’s possible to hear the story of God’s unconditional love…without believing it’s true for us. Somehow we’ve never known… the contentment and even happiness… that come from believing we’re loved by God.

Why does this happen?

Well, the cause is usually… somewhere in our own story.
In how we’re programmed to understand love and happiness in our own family… And sometimes the story of God’s unconditional love is eclipsed…or blocked out…

by learning about love with strings attached…

love that’s conditional…on how well we perform…or how hard we work… 

or how proud we make our parents.

And that’s where we first learn about love isn’t it?

Now most parents mean well… and do the best they can…
but with the best will in the world… our parents can teach us we’re only lovable if …

we’re pleasing them… or living up to their expectations.
Sometimes love is withdrawn…
when certain conditions aren’t met. And we find this is true
of the acceptance we seek at school…and in other relationships.

Many of us have a story or two… about a time in life…
when we were hurt or laughed at or rejected…times that damaged our ability to feel unconditionally loved…for our true self…And that’s why it’s important to understand 

our own story …if we’re ever going to move and grow
in our relationship with God. [pause]

When I was growing up… my mother… who was the font and source of all love and wisdom… used to tell everyone we met what a perfect child I was…and without realising it I got the message…that my Mother’s love…was in proportion to how perfect I was…

When I was six…my mother had me tested…so the truth of my amazing IQ could be 

confirmed for all to see. Everything went really well except for 7 plus 5. 

I guessed and got it wrong.

On the way home in the car… my mother asked me how it went. I told her it was fun…

but wasn’t sure about the answer to seven plus five… 

I remember the shock and disappointment on my mother’s face and in her voice. 

Somehow without her intending it…
I felt her love for me had diminished.

and so I put two and two together and got four…
I came to believe I could only be lovable if I was perfect
if I didn’t make mistakes…And hey I was smart enough to know I wasn’t perfect…

I knew I was only a kid…

and so I concluded I was unlovable… 

whenever I wasn’t perfect at something. And the sad thing is…

I didn’t realise this consciously until I was about thirty five. 

I’d been emotionally programmed to equate perfection with love….

What was important for me as an adult…
was to understand my story…so I could bring this false belief…

what you might call this personal lie …into the light. …and test this lie… 

against the reactions of people I trusted. And most importantly…

 to test it out against God’s story
of unconditional love for all the world…
a story I’d heard since childhood.  

One way to test for how unhelpful programming…
or a personal lie… has impacted on your life story… 

is to answer two questions. And I’m not going to ask you to share any of this. 

Just fill in the blank at the end of these questions for yourself.

 Slide words

I could be truly loved, if only I weren’t ________

I could be truly loved, if only I were ________

Sometimes the first thing that pops into our minds is the one to go with.

[Wait]

Blank slide

One of the giants of the reformed faith, John Calvin wrote

‘True and substantial wisdom principally consist of two parts, 

the knowledge of God and the knowledge of ourselves.’

In other words it isn’t spiritually healthy… to refuse to look honestly at our own story…

because events in our life can distort and even obscure our perspective on God’s story.

And far from being self-indulgent…understanding ourselves an integral part of our journey 

toward wholeness in God…

I think this is precisely what Jesus wanted his followers to understand before he left them to 

carry on his work…
And there are few passages… that express God’s unconditional love for us…

as clearly as our reading for today… which we heard just before.

Jesus slide

The scene is the Upper Room…late evening after the meal… 

candles have burnt down and Judas has left the building.

Jesus is saying farewell…his friends don’t want him to go…

Jesus warns them of danger ahead and persecution because of his name…his cause. 

And he promises the coming of the Holy Spirit in his stead… to guide them
and testify to the truth Jesus taught them.

Jesus prays

The last thing Jesus does…is pray for them.

In hushed silence… the disciples witness Jesus’ intimate conversation… 

with the one he calls Abba.

And what do they learn about their story and God’s story
as Jesus’ prays?

They learn that each one of them is a gift to Jesus from his father…

that they belong to God…and now
they belong to Jesus.

They learn wants them share the joy he takes
in his relationship with his Father.

They learn Jesus hasn’t called them out of the world to a separate and exclusive 

colony of the righteous…
but is sending them into the world
to continue his work… in the world.

Dangerous… politically incorrect work… for which divine protection is needed…

but not isolation from the world.

And finally Jesus asks that they be set apart… sanctified… for this holy purpose…

like the bread and the wine…

And then the most amazing thing occurs…
Jesus prays for you and for me.

My prayer isn’t for them alone…he says…I pray also for those who will believe in me

 through their message…that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me 

and I am in you. May they also be in us …so the world may believe you sent me.  

I’ve given them the glory you gave me…so they may be brought to complete unity.
 

Slide words

Then the world will know you sent me…
and have loved them… even as you loved me…

Not just those who have already heard and believed…
but God so loved the world…

For God so loved the world…he gave…love…

And unless I’m mistaken… you and I are included…

Cloud slide

God loves you whether anyone else does. God loves you whether you love yourself…

How can you carry that good news to others if you don’t believe it yourself?

In silence now… I invite you to let go of all the conditions and strings and lies… 

that have kept you from accepting God’s unconditional love for you…

In silence I invite you to consent to God’s love for you
just as you are.

That is who you are.

___________________

my thanks to Henry Wismayer for his beautiful photo of Mt Damavind 

Also my thanks to Rod Wilson President of Regent College in Vancouver for the five chapter headings of this sermon series. He used these headings in his presentation to the South Island Ministry Conference in Dunedin May 2012.