Worship and the languages of love

Easter 3 year C Sermon

How many of you have seen the… wonderful film Amazing Grace…[ask]it’s about how the evil of slavery was finally outlawed in England…

if you did see the movie…you might remember the…
moving scene… where the former slave trader…
John Newton, is kneeling on the floor of the cathedral…scrubbing it clean… from wall to wall…

it’s a true story… how this man’s mercenary life…
was transformed by the experience of God’s grace…
the one who made a fortune trafficking in human flesh …becomes a priest…and devotes the rest of his life
to ending slavery…
he wrote the hymn Amazing Grace.

Newton and Wilberforce slide

During the film Newton sends out…his young protégé… William Wilberforce…in the service of humanity.
In the name of Christ…Newton inspires Wilberforce… to use his position of power…as a Member of Parliament … to secure the abolition of the slave trade.

I’ll never forget the image of Newton with his mop and his rags kneeling on the stone cathedral floor.

So what Newton’s mop got to do…
with the title of my sermon…
worship and the languages of love?

Guitar slide

Well I’ll tell you…about four years ago…when our church began to alternate… guitar and organ lead worship …
we had a lot of debate… behind the scenes…
about who’s really worshipping on Sunday morning ...
and whether some people truly understood
what worship was all about…

In some churches these discussions are called the worship wars.

Floor slide

Well…one day back then…when I was over at the church in the middle of the week… I discovered one of our wonderful women down on her knees…
scrubbing the stone tiles in the entryway.

She was deep in concentration…I doubt if she knew I was watching …

and suddenly I had a revelation…
I became aware that for this woman…making the entryway clean and beautiful… ……was an act of worship…

like John Newton down on his knees in the film…
this woman was showing her love for God…
through an act of service…

Book slide

And this reminded me of a book… about The Five Languages of Love in relationships…and I started thinking…what if people worship with different love languages as well…

The author of this book…a relationship counsellor named Gary Chapman…found the people he worked with felt loved in different ways. He discovered five different love languages: receiving gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch.

And while he noticed…everyone enjoys each of these love languages to some degree…
most people… have a preference for one of them.

Now this guy Chapman is no new age snake-oil salesman. He’s a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds Master of Religious Education and a Ph.D. from a Baptist Theological Seminary…and… he’s a senior pastor.

Black and white slide

Chapman is motivated by his faith…
to dramatically improve people’s relationships…
so before I start talking about the love languages of worship…I’m going to help you test for yourself
what your love language might be…how you prefer to be loved and show love.

Now which one of these… love languages…
sounds like yours?

Word slide reveal words of affirmation

Number one… words of affirmation…
if words of affirmation are important to you…
actions don’t always speak louder than words.
If this is your love language…then unsolicited compliments will mean the world to you. Hearing
the words, “I love you,” is very important to you—
and an insult will leave you shattered.

Reveal quality time

If Quality Time is your love language,
nothing says, “I love you,” like someone’s full…undivided attention. You want people to be there for you…and I mean really there—eyes off the computer screen or the TV …cutlery down on the plate, chores on hold…

this kind of quality time makes you feel truly special
and loved. When people are distracted or postpone appointments, or fail to listen…you find it especially hurtful.

Reveal physical touch

Three…As a love language…Physical Touch…
isn’t all about the bedroom.
If touch is your primary love language…
then you want hugs and pats on the back…
you want to hold hands and cuddle…you like that thoughtful touch on your arm or your shoulder…

Touch is how you experience concern, and care, and love. And if touch is your love language…then physical presence is crucial… prolonged absence… indifference… neglect and abuse are the worst things you can imagine.

Reveal receiving gifts

Now if receiving gifts helps you to feel loved…
it’s important not to mistake this for being materialistic …what you thrive on… is the care and thoughtfulness …the time and the effort  put in… behind the gift.

If you speak this love language…the perfect gift or gesture tells you you’re cared for and prized above
whatever was sacrificed to bring you the gift.
Missed birthdays, anniversaries, or thoughtless gifts
feel like rejection.

Reveal acts of service

This brings us to love language number five…

Can mopping the floor…really be an expression of love?

Absolutely!

If you’re an Acts of Service love language person… anything done for you… that eases your burdens
speak volumes. The words you most want to hear
are: ‘Let me do that for you.’

If acts of service is your love language…then laziness, broken commitments, or creating more work for you to do… tells you your feelings don’t matter.

OK …take minute in silence…to decide which of the five languages of love are most important to you…
you might like to choose two.

Wait…

OK now share with your neighbour what you discovered.

Sharing…

Blank slide

You see the key to better relationships…
is learning to use the love language that helps the people you care about …feel loved…it’s that simple…
and at the same time…you can help them understand
what makes you feel loved…

And remember…Jesus is in on it when we show love to others…didn’t he say…

Slide words

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did…
for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine …you did for me.’

It’s good to remember this… when people ask you how we can you love someone you can’t see or touch
when we talk about our love for God.

Universe slide

So again… worship is the way we show love for God Worship…is our human response to God loving us first …our reply to God’s compassion and provision.
Of course… for many people… who just brim over with love for God…there’s a sense in which for them…
worship goes on all the time…

So when I saw that woman on her knees…
scrubbing the tiles in the church entryway…I could guess  her love language for worship might be acts of service

How might your love language…
influence the way you prefer… to show love for God?

Word slide reveal – words of affirmation

Let’s have a look…in the context of corporate worship …and private devotion…words of affirmation
are called praise. The Psalms of David give us great examples of praise…the trumpeters and musicians join in unison… to give praise and thanks to the LORD.
Singers raise their voices in praise…
singing: ‘God is good; God’s love endures forever.’

If this is your worship love language…
then you long to speak words of affirmation to God…
to tell God of your love…and thankfulness…

Reveal words quality time

If Quality Time is your love language for worship
then you’ll enjoy practising the presence of God in all you do…but particularly you like to be still and listen for God. You want to give God lots of time…for your spiritual life to flourish. You find time with God strengthens your ability to carry out God’s will.

Reveal Words Physical touch

What about number three…many of us long to touch the face of God…yet in our human dimension of time and space this might seem impossible.

But some people need the sense of physical touch
in order to thrive…if that’s you then…gestures of touch might be your favourite way to honour God. You feel like holding your hands out in worship …or raising your arms…there’s a sense in which you’re reaching out to God …and when someone dances before God…
they’re using their whole body… in an act of worship.

Reveal words receiving Gifts

And what about giving and receiving gifts…

Some people wonder…why we have an offering
during worship…why don’t we just have a collection box
outside the church door…

but giving something concrete to God…sacrificing something valuable to us…might be your way of showing love for God …for you…giving gifts is a way to worship…
giving your time and talents count too.

Reveal Acts of Service

And that brings us to back to the mop…

Over the past eleven years I’ve noticed many people
in our church family…whose primary love language for worship is performing acts of service…for God and for the church family

If you are one of these…then it’s likely you express your love…your worship for God…in very practical ways

And even if other people don’t realise what you’re doing
is worship…God knows what’s in your heart…

So it’s my prayer that we won’t waste time judging ourselves or others for not worshipping properly…instead…I pray that you’ll ask first…
what love language is being spoken…

And…you know what…the thing about love languages is … it’s not necessary for us… to feel loving all the time …no one can …

but the good news of Jesus Christ…
is that it is possible to show love all the time…

whether for other people or for God.